Not Me!

I did NOT paint my dining room red because I got stir crazy over the weekend. The red is NOT kind of fuschia. I have not already painted it two coats and it now needs at least two more. I'm NOT taking volunteers to help me finish. Not me!

I did NOT have to say today, "Savannah, sweetie, we don't pee-pee on the rug. Lets go in the potty or in the diaper." Not me!

Speaking of diapers, I did NOT wake up this morning to a screaming child at 6 am. I did NOT rush into her room and find that she had removed her diaper and taken a dump in the bed on the sheets. I did NOT clean up the child and put her in my bed and just leave the pile of stinky poo for a more appropriate time of day. Not me!

I did NOT have a brand new computer crash this week. Dealing with the geek squad did NOT nearly reduce me to tears. I did NOT tell a geek squad guy that I was a hopeless wreck when it comes to computers and beg him to install my software for me after he wiped the hard drive. My begging and pleading did NOT work and get me exactly what I wanted... a geek at my service. I would not use my powers of persuasion like that. Not me!

I have NOT had like 14 cups of coffee this week. One of my friends did NOT call me an addict. Not me!

I have NOT started to speed a little more now that I have a cop brother that tells me what they pull people over for. I do NOT use my knowledge to drive a little faster. I know that would eventually come back to bite me in the butt. Not me!

I did NOT cry this week after a bad day when I ran over a bunny rabbit and killed it. What kind of self respecting female cries over roadkill?! Not me!

I did NOT get stressed out when I realized that I needed to tivo five tv shows tonight and I was trying to figure out if it would work. Thats a ton of tv for one night. Not me!