Anatomy of an Army Crawl

1. Spot something you want. Its best if it is something you shouldn't be into. Or one of your sister's toys... that'll make her go nuts.



2. Push really hard with your feet. You'll do a bit of a belly flop, but thats ok.



3. Keep pushing. Grab the carpet with your non-weightbearing hand and pull.



4. Ooh, face plant. Its okay... its just carpet. Sweet deal. You've moved about six inches. Just another 36 to go. Get back on your knees and prepare to repeat.



5. Check and see how much further it is. Gasp for air. This is worse than running a marathon. Okay, back to work.

6. Work it, baby! Push with those feet!

7. Realize you've reached your destination. Collapse with exhaustion and chatter on in excitement.

8. Realize you just burned all 10 calories you ate for lunch and fuss for Momma. There's no way you're crawling all of the way to her now. Shew.