Not Me Monday

I've been inspired by MckMama (mycharmingkids.blogspot.com) and nudged by a friend (here ya go, Katie!) to partcipate in "Not Me Monday." So here is what I did NOT do this past week. Ahem.

1. I did NOT let my 19-month-old eat cake for breakfast this week because well... she didn't want anything else.
2. Even if the cake incident DID occur, I definitely didn't let her have vanilla oreos for dinner that same day. Never.
3. I'm pretty sure I did NOT take a picture of a bad rash on a certain baby's bottom and email it to her pediatric gi specialist to avoid a trip to the doctor and a copay. That would totally be cheating! And it would be weird. To take pictures of a butt and email them.
4. I definitely didn't whip out my cell phone to take a video when my child put a raisin in her nose this past week. That would only encourage bad behavior.
5. And when we were at Lowes on Saturday... there is no way in the world that I was that mom taking a screaming toddler out to the car because she wanted to play in the fountains... and even if that WAS indeed me, I definitely didn't offer her a sucker to stop screaming when we got to the car because people were staring and thought I was probably kidnapping her due to the sheer amount AND volume of screaming. I mean, who would give a kid candy after that?!
6. I didn't think it was hysterical yesterday when the 19-month-old squealed loudly at lunch in a crowded restaurant and then cackled her head off. Like 12 times in a row. While people stared and also laughed too. A real mom would totally have told her to stop and be quiet, right?!
7. And I'm pretty sure I didn't let my sweet girl taste dirt yesterday because she simply kept trying and I was tired of telling her no. And if I did let her taste it, I wouldn't have needed to try really hard to supress a grin at her face afterward. No way.
8. I didn't just realize that its been a week since Easter, and my house is still decorated in bunnies and Easter eggs, and there aren't about five moms and their babies on their way here for a playdate. And if that really happened, certainly I would have popped out of my chair and put away said Easter decorations instead of blogging about it... wouldn't I?
9. I definitely didn't take pictures of Savannah in rain boots for a special church project and then refer to them as "booty pictures" in a meeting. I mean... I would never be as crazy or thoughtless as to say... in a church related meeting... "I've got some booty pictures for this!" And then when my friend busted out laughing...because she knew I did not actually take booty pictures, I did NOT find it hysterical and somewhat embarassing.

And... even if I did do ALL of those things... I would absolutely would NOT post them on the internet for all to see. Never.