Adventures in Wal-Mart

Have you ever read that book... it starts out something like...if you give a mouse a cookie... he'll ask you for some milk... and then... and it goes on and on.

Well, in similar fashion, I present, if you take a toddler to Wal-Mart...


On the way to Wal-Mart, the toddler may say something like...
"I not need to go to Wal-Mart! I'm too big! I need to go to church now. Church is more fun than Wal-Mart."

You may arrive at Wal-Mart, and the toddler may direct you into a proper parking space. "No, mom! Not there! Over there!"

You may walk in the door... only to be told by the toddler that she needs in the buggy... and then she may interrupt herself... that she needs McDonald's first. She may then say, "Sorry mom. I not need to ride in buggy right now, I need fry-fries first. I help you shop later, okaaaaay?"

She may then ask you if McDonalds is the same McDonalds with a farm... e-i-e-i-o?

She might pick her nose while you're ordering french fries, and then inform you loudly that she is going to eat her booger, much to the amusement of the teenage boys working at McDonalds.

You may finally get loaded into the buggy and begin shopping. You may pass a very large handicapped woman in a motorized shopping cart and your toddler may yell "Momma! Look! What IS that? You see? What IS it?!"

You may have to take the toddler to the bathroom no less than four times in Wal-Mart.

You may hear, "I need OUT!" every other aisle. Me too, kiddo, me too.

You may go to check out, and the toddler may "help" by throwing random items onto the conveyor belt, much to the amusement of the cashier. She may then strike up conversation with the cashier. "I got chocolate milk now! We not have milk to put in my cup. I had to drink water today."

You may go out to the car, where, as you are loading groceries, the toddler may inform you that its cold outside and you really need to hurry it up. "Its brrrr outside, mom! You need to put in car really really fast, okaaaay?"

You may drive home... and discover that you forgot something. Sigh. Unfortunately, there will always be another Wal-Mart trip!