Not Me Monday. [Pregnancy Edition.]

[Back by popular demand.]

1. I'm NOT pretty sure that most maternity clothes designers probably failed out of normal design school. Nobody wants a bow on their huge baby belly. Duh. And if you are already noticiably pregnant, you aren't going to want to wear shirts with things like "love makes the belly go round" printed across the tummy. Pretty sure everyone already knows the details of that. And if they don't, a t-shirt is not the way to tell them. I don't resist the urge to run away or laugh way too hard in those stores. Not me!

2. I definitely didn't eat marshmallows for breakfast because my toddler suggested them and they sounded delicious. Not me!

3. I didn't want to smack the maternity store worker when she told me not to worry that the top of the small maternity shirt was baggy because that would fill out later. Pretty sure they've been telling me that since I was 12, lady, and thanks for reminding me that its never happened. Not me!

4. I don't lay in bed at night wondering if I really have to get up to go to the bathroom again or if I could sleep another hour. The thought process isn't like... do I really have to go... can I wait so I don't have to get up as many times... the floor is going to be so cold... okay fine I really have to go. Not me!

5. I don't evaluate dinner options based on which one will give me less heartburn afterward. Not me!

6. I didn't decide that Christmas was the worst time to have pregnancy hormones that make you cry like a baby sniffle... at movies... and books... and Hallmark commercials. Not me!

7. I never have completely uncharacteristic meltdowns where I am crying my eyes out over things like... my jeans are still wet in the dryer and thats what I really, really wanted to wear today. Not me!

8. I don't get tired carrying my 27 pound toddler up the stairs. It would be premature to be that tired and out of breath now, right? So thats definitely not me.

9. When I got really excited that I've passed the halfway point, and told my husband in a really excited fashion... it didnt sound like... hey guess what guess what guess what! today marks 20 weeks which means we are officially half way!!! And when he said oh... halfway through... what? uhm oh... pregnancy? i didn't threaten to kick him in the shin and he wasn't so sure that I was serious that he backed up a good three feet. Not me!

Anything you haven't done? I really wanna know. And so do all 2,000 blog readers I've accumulated (yep I have a counter/tracker thingie). Have a good Monday!