Our NICU Journey

I've been working on this post for a while and I know its a bit delayed but well... I don't have the free time I used to. ;) Its really long, so please don't feel the need to read it all.

I wanted some kind of record of our journey through the NICU. I know that Brooklyn was only in the NICU for one week, and that many babies are in there far longer, but it was a long time for me to be away from my sweet girl...in many aspects it was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. You can skip over this post since its old news if you want. :)

So here is the story of Brooklyn's NICU journey.

Day ONE:

When I went into labor, they let us know that it was "high risk" and that Brooklyn's lungs weren't fully developed. But, there was nothing to do at that point but pray and have a baby. :) Brooklyn arrived at 8:03am on February 25th. Immediately after birth, she was handed over to a team of specialists who were in the room awaiting her arrival (if you think you have a lot of people in the room when you have a term baby... try having a NICU baby... pretty sure I counted 14 people). I remember that she wasn't crying, and I kept asking about her, and they just kept telling me to stay calm and it would be fine. The doctors placed her on a table and began to work on her and turned their backs to me so that I would not see her. I later learned that they were suctioning her mouth and nose, had bagged her, and were pumping air into her lungs. She started to cry after a few minutes, but it was very weak and quiet. I remember it sounded like a cat meowing. The neonatal specialist came over and let us know that she would need to be admitted to the NICU for respiratory support. He then told me that I could hold her for about ten seconds and then I needed to give her back so that she could be admitted. (Excuse the unflattering picture...)

Once I was ready to move upstairs, they took me to the NICU in a wheelchair to see her. Nobody had prepared me for the condition she was in. Maybe I was naive, or just sleep deprived, but since I had held her for a few seconds, I guess I thought she would be laying in a crib in the NICU with just some oxygen hooked up. My labor and delivery nurse took me into the NICU, and when I saw all of the cords, tubes, and needles in my baby, I thought I was going to be sick. The nurse wheeled me away for a minute and let me compose myself, and then assured me that Brooklyn was going to be just fine in the end, and it just might take a little time to get there. I was really thankful for her support. The below picture still bothers me, but this was Brooklyn two hours after birth.

We were thrust into a world of machines, medical terms, testing, intense hand washing, and hospital gowns. At times I felt sure I wouldn't remember everything they were telling me.

She was on nasal CPAP which basically forced air into her lungs. She had an IV for antibiotics for Group B strep (just a precaution) and fluids. She had a feeding tube, a heart monitor, a respiratory monitor, and an oxygen monitor. She'd had blood gas levels drawn which weren't very good (meaning she didn't have enough oxygen in her bloodstream, I believe) and a chest x-ray had shown premature lungs. Her respiratory rate was above 100, and the goal was to have it consistently stay below 60. Her blood pressure was also a little low.




Day one was the hardest day because Brooklyn struggled the most that day, and she couldn't be held. It was very difficult to watch her work so hard just to breathe and not be able to do anything for her but hold her hand. They assured me that she was a fighter and it was a very good sign that she didn't need a ventilator but was doing the work herself. They also told us to prepare ourselves for her to be hospitalized for four to six weeks.

I met with lactation and began to pump milk for Brooklyn. The lactation consultant was such an encouragement to me during a meltdown (one of many) that I had, because she told me that I was doing more for my baby than anything a machine could do by nursing her (Did you know that when you have a preemie, your body produces different milk than for a full-term baby? God is so cool!). It helped me a lot, because I was feeling quite helpless before that.




Day TWO. I finally got a few hours of sleep that evening, and when I took some milk up to the NICU at 3:30 in the morning, they asked me if I'd like to hold my baby. I didn't care that I'd had 3 hours of sleep in the past 72 hours... there was no way I was going back to bed. She had done so well on the nasal CPAP that they had stepped her down to 2 liters of oxygen. She had been reclassified as "intensive care status" instead of "critical status." Her respiratory rate was alternating from 50-80 and her blood pressure had stabilized.




When Darren came back at 10 am that morning, he got to hold her for the first time.





She still couldn't handle a lot of stimulation, so we had to take turns visiting her every four hours. Of course, I got to be included in every turn. Savannah got to go meet her baby sister that evening.



I also got to give Brooklyn her first bottle. She had some trouble drinking it because it was a lot of work to drink and breathe at the same time, but she managed to take 1/3 of an ounce.

Day THREE. On the third day, we had a new problem. Jaundice. It is very common in newborns, but was still a discouragement to have bump in the road. Brooklyn was placed under bilirubin lights and we were asked to refrain from holding her again. It was difficult to go back to only holding her hand again. But, there was good news! She was stepped down to 1 liter of oxygen and then was taken off of the oxygen all together.

We took a class called "Introduction to the NICU" that taught us all kinds of the things about premature babies and things that we could do to encourage her progress. It was very informative but also a bit overwhelming. After meeting some of the other parents and hearing their stories, I was very thankful that my girl was so big and healthy comparatively.

Brooklyn's nurse was an encouragement to me this day because she waited until the doctor left and then whispered that she didn't think there was any way Brooklyn would be in the NICU for four to six weeks, and said she thought we were looking at more like 10-14 days. This was particularly encouraging because I was discharged from the hospital without my baby that day. It made it a little easier to go home knowing that she might come home sooner than they expected.

It was hard to walk out of the hospital without a baby though, especially when there were other happy parents loading their sweet newborns into waiting vehicles right outside of the doors. I had to keep reminding myself that God loves my baby even more than I do, and He has a plan for her.

Day FOUR. This was the first day that I had to commute back to the hospital as I was no longer a patient. I took milk that I had pumped to Brooklyn twice per day and stayed for about an hour each time. They still encouraged us to leave her under the lights as much as possible, but did permit us to hold her during the visit.

Brooklyn pulled out her IV from her arm on this day (and she'd already had one in her other arm and her foot too), so they had to start one in her head. She did, however, start to eat a lot more...almost an ounce at each feeding... so that was good news.

She also started to wake up a little more, so they said that was a sign that she was feeling better.

Day FIVE. On the fifth day, they discontinued all of Brooklyn's support! They removed her IV and her feeding tube. She was free of all cords except for the heart monitor. They also started to turn the temperature down on her bed so that she could begin to regulate her own body temperature.

That evening, they took her out from under the bilirubin lights too. We could hold her as much as we wanted! I visited that evening and stayed for two and a half hours, and it was wonderful. At the end of my visit, they transitioned her to an "open crib" (no temperature regulation) and dressed her in clothes. They bumped her feeding up to every three hours and she was taking close to two ounces.

The doctor warned us that he was "taking a risk" with making so many changes in one day, but that he thought Brooklyn could handle it. So, we headed home praying that she would do well with the many adjustments.

Day SIX. On day six, we visited in the morning during the doctors' rounds. While Brooklyn's bilirubin level was slightly higher, she had held her own in every other aspect. After staring at his computer for what seemed like forever, the doctor said the words we had been waiting for. "If she continues to improve and her jaundice level doesn't dramatically increase, I anticipate her being discharged tomorrow."

Thus began a whirlwind of activity preparing for Brooklyn to be released. They had us sign immunization consents and bring her car seat to the hospital so that they could do a "car seat study" (an hour-long time period where they hook her up to monitors and let her sit in her car seat to make sure she can handle it). We also had to be certified in infant CPR and take a "discharge class."

Whenever we weren't at the hospital, we were running around like crazy... purchasing preemie clothes and diapers, cleaning the house, etc. I felt like a kid the night before Christmas.

Day SEVEN. I woke up at the crack of dawn, and got ready, and then headed to the hospital. When I arrived, Brooklyn's nurse informed me that her jaundice level had increased again. Unfortunately, she wasn't sure our baby girl would be able to go home. She said she was waiting on the doctor to make the decision.

So, we waited. And waited. The doctor arrived and carefully checked Brooklyn's chart. He stated that we could take her home, but if her jaundice increased again, she may very well have to be admitted again. He asked us to make sure she had her labs drawn the next day, but she was free to go. I was so relieved!

A hearing test and a shot of antibodies later, we were headed home with our sweet girl!

It was so hard to have a baby in the NICU. However, I saw God's hand of protection over Brooklyn many times. I am so sure that He loves her even more than I do, and that He has a plan for her life. So many people lifted this little girl up in prayer, and I have no doubts that she progressed so well because of that. The NICU staff was also wonderful and I was very thankful to live near a hospital that had such an intense NICU program. And I'm so, so thankful for her health. I don't think I'll ever take a baby's birth for granted again...I always knew it was a miracle...but now knowing exactly how all the details fall into place with something as seemingly insignificant as a few weeks of time... it amazes me. So, all of that to say, that is the story of Brooklyn's NICU journey. And I'm so glad its over. And all of the glory goes to the Great Physician.