Not Me Monday

1. I do not go to the store just so that I can use coupons because if they expire without me using them, I feel wasteful. Not me!

2. If the kitchen trashcan gets full, I never throw things away in other trashcans located elsewhere in the house to avoid taking out the trash. Not me!

3. My child didn't inform our very pierced waiter at Pizza Hut that "boys don't wear earrings, silly." Not me!

4. My house is immaculate. I didn't find a half-eaten apple in the toy bin this morning. The apple wasn't completely covered in ants. Not me! (Note: At least it was in the toy bin labeled "food!" Maybe I should relabel... "plastic food only"!)

5. Yesterday, I didn't get completely frustrated with my child for refusing to say her Cubbies verse. I didn't go over it with her 100 times throughout the day, only to have her say she couldn't remember it. When she was picked up from Cubbies last night, her leader didn't say, "She said her verse perfectly word for word, including the reference!" My jaw didn't drop open... I wasn't totally punked by the a 3-year-old girl. Not me!

6. My child also didn't tell her Sunday school teacher that we don't feed her. Not me!

7. I never rock my baby to sleep, even though she should be putting herself to sleep by now. I don't find holding a sweet sleeping baby ever so enjoyable that I do it even when I know I shouldn't. Not me!

8. When I took my kids to the apple orchard last week, my 3-year-old didn't take a bite out of several apples and put them back in the apple bin without me noticing until she started proclaiming loudly, "Mmm mmm mmmm... them apples is the best apples EVER! Yummy yummy for my tummy! So delicious!" Mr. Ikenberry didn't come over and laugh and proclaim that I could leave her there for advertising purposes. [I wonder if that offer still stands...] Not me!

9. I never leave sippy cups of milk in the car floorboard unknowingly... until they explode. Gross! Not me!

10. I never park in the handicapped parking spot at preschool pick up so that I can leave a sleeping baby in the car (air conditioning running... I'm not insane!) while I pick up my toddler from the dismissal door. I don't fail to understand the necessity of occupying all of the spaces near the door with handicapped labels when I've never seen a handicapped person at preschool pick-up. I didn't reason to myself that I couldn't get a ticket anyway on private property and park there. Not me!

11. I never leave the house without an extra outfit in the diaper bag. My child would never happen to have an explosion... all over her onesie... in the physical therapy office. I wouldn't try to clean it up... only to have us walk in the therapy room and have them roll her over.... hello poop stains. I have it all together. Not me!

12. My three-year-old didn't tell me as I dropped her off at school on Thursday, "Bye, Mom. Don't get old while I'm gone!" Uh... I'll try not to... Not me!

What have you not done this week?